(first published May 3, 2010)
For opera-involved (-crazed, -cranked, -obsessed, etc.) individuals, the Twittersphere was crackling with entries last week in #operaplot 2010, or, how to reduce the plot of an entire opera to a Tweet–140 characters including a hashtag and the word #operaplot.
This brainy battle of the curt, terse, and pithy is organized by Toronto music critic Marcia Adair, aka Miss Mussel, classical music’s champion of the short and sweet. Since “Operatoonity” wouldn’t exist in the blogosphere without Mozart’s Don Giovanni–the opera that inspired my novel DEVILED BY DON–with Miss Mussel’s permission, I thought I would share all the entries this year for Don G:
Don Giovanni (Mozart)
Vankan0 – it 640 de 231 fr 100 tr 91 es 1003. Kill father. Dress up as servant. Seduce farmer girl. Supper with ghost. Go to hell.
Gerrit Theule – A rake’s progression goes from woman to woman to woman to hell. His poor servant, left to explain things, escapes at least.
Gerrit Theule – Three strikes and the Don’s out. The Commendatore wins every time. Except at the beginning. He doesn’t fare so well there
Patrick Swanson – I tell ya, Leporello-life is good. Bangin hot chicks, breakin hearts. Pass the butter. *knock knock* Who’s there? Oh shit.
Paul JZ – The Don’s Hectic Calendar: Seduce. Rape. Duel. Kill. Flirt. Lure. Flee. Regroup. Accuse. Swap. Fool. Invite. Revel. Refuse. BURN!
Paul JZ – “Questo è il fin di chi fa mal!” So, don’t seduce, rape, accuse, fool, desert, lure, beat, or kill, lest you be dragged to hell!
Thos Carpenter – A cautionary tale for serial rapists everywhere: never invite a walking, talking statue from hell to a dinner party.
MMmusing – Cad kills Commendatore. Conquests cataloged, courts country cutie. Cry creates chaos. Cast Commendatore comeback cues comeuppance.
MPR Mike – 1003 in Seville is plenty.
Paul JZ – I’m too sexy for amor—too sexy for Seville. I’m a charmer—I shake my lil tush on the piazza. I’m too sexy for this opera. *burns*
Fabtab – Man leaves Playboy mansion to compete for a virgin; sings a rap so filthy even the Pope digs it.
Oliver JMC – By some miracle, he didn’t experience any burning sensations until after the 1003rd.
Eric Mahlzeit – Cunning Spanish nobleman murders, seduces, serenades, and throws one hell of a dinner party.
Where’s Runnicles – How many? I don’t believe you. Seriously, I made a list. Where do you think you’re dragging me off to and why is it so hot there?
CTMCC – Go to hell Don G says mad woman, sad woman, nearly-bad woman, their menfolk and many many others.
MPR Mike – In which our hero learns that, in Spain, he should have stopped at 1003.
Pattyoboe – He’s made a long list, checked it more than twice. Everyone knows he’s naughty, not nice. Dinner time for Statue & Don.
Otterhouse – Leporello: “Drink wet cement and really get stoned.”
Shevinka – Hi lep, remember that old dude we killed? Well he got me b4 the stds did! give your wife *one* for me :p, see you in hell xx
Lattavanti – No reference from former boss because he went to Hell for killing some chick’s dad. Here’s a list of other gfs—see, he trusted me
Henri Drost – I can’t get no satisfaction tho I’ve tried 2066 times. No no no says Leporello but I’d be damned to decline an invitation.
Le Boyfriend – Kissed the girls and made them cry. Stabbed one’s dad and watched him die. Offered chances to repent, he opted to be Hades sent. Men!
Aren’t they all fantastic? Which is your favorite? I can tell you mine. Drumroll, please . . .
Henri Drost gets my first-place blue ribbon. I love how he added up all the conquests from Leporello’s “Catalogue Aria.” Very clever!!
Second place goes to Paul JZ for the I’m too sexy for amor . . . I’m too sexy for this opera. *burns*
Third place goes to MMmusing for the totally alliterative entry.
Honorable mention goes to Pattyoboe for her “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”-inspired Tweet.
Read all of this year’s entries (almost a thousand based on more than 200+ different operas) at The Omniscient Mussel.
The overall contest winners judged by Jonas Kauffman [were] announced on May 7!
Addendum to original post from The Omniscient Mussel:
Name: Stephen Llewellyn (@LeBoyfriend) Portland, OR, was named a runner-up for his Don G entry.
Tweet: Kissed the girls and made them cry.Stabbed one¹s dad and watched him die. Offered chances to repent,he opted to be Hades sent. Men! [Don Giovanni]