my 2011 #operaplot entries

If you aren’t on Twitter, you might not be aware of a cultural tsunami building there (or should that be counter-cultural?), 140 characters at a time, called #Operaplot. The energy and excitement on Twitter are palpable.     

Every #operaplot entrant is accorded 25 tries to grab the judge’s attention with a winning summary of an opera’s plotline in a single Tweet. All entries must be in by midnight this Friday.     

This is my first year actually participating in the contest. I joined Twitter around the time of last year’s contest–too late to enter but not to late to enjoy all the entertaining entries.     

So, here’s all my entries thus far: (There’s 21 one of them below, which means *shudder* I only have FOUR ENTRIES LEFT!!)     

Who stabbed a horny guy with bad breath? Tos-caa! Who mourned her beau and leapt to her death? Tos-caa! #operaplot (Tosca by Puccini)     

You can tell by the way she looked at him they’d been to bed, but their fate was grim. Ah-ah-ee-dah. Buried alive! Buried alive! #operaplot (Aida by Verdi)     

Here’s a story of due donne. Boyfrenzi no trusta, not a lick. So, dey getta 2 mustaches. Duets great but silly plotta make asick. #operaplot (Cosi fan tutte by Mozart)     

I love to die at weddings. And I died after my wedding. I killed the groom. I left the room. I sang of gloom. I met my doom. #operaplot  (Lucia di Lammermoor by Donizetti)      

Isn’t it queer? Aren’t we a pair? You with a knife in your chest. Me with red hair. Send in the clown. Don’t bother. He’s here. #operaplot (Pagliacci by Leoncavallo)     

     

Master? Viper! Hush. Coward! Silence! Daddy? Fool. Monster! Revenge! My Lord? My angel. Beat me. Hisst. Ta-ta-ta-ta. Repent! No! #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

Don O walks with me. Don O talks with me. He tells me I am his own. We share no joy–the silly boy. To think! He’s fully grown! #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

A is 4 Aida and Amneris. I is 4 the temple Isis owns. D is 4 the dungeon for Radames. Locked in A, Aida’s arms, Morir, he moans. #operaplot (Aida by Verdi)     

Fair-haired mare ensnares a herr and his frère. Back in the lair. Stares. Glares. An affair? A temper flares. A rapier. Despair! #operaplot (Pelléas et Mélisande—Debussy)     

Oy vey, Moses! Seeink Yahweh in that schmattah? Take my sport coat—Brooks Brothers—but leave the Rolex. Brink me a tchatchke!  #operaplot (Moses und Aron by Schoenberg)     

Come here, Gilda. Can’t dig your new squeeze, daughter. I may be a hunchback, but I ain’t no drag. Papa’s got a burlap bag. #operaplot (Rigoletto by Verdi)     

Happy Easter. Bite me. #operaplot (Cavalleria rusticana by Mascagni)     

1 rake, 2 acts, 3 soprani, 4 ta’s, 5 padre mio’s, 6 nò’s, 7 classes of conjugal conquests, 8 roles, 9 vile’s, 10 heavenly appeals #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

Madame Butterfly

 

CC – gotta go. bt IL B bac W d roses, d warm n sunny Cson wen d red-breasted robins r bZ nesting, ASAP posbL, my lov – BF #operaplot (Madama Butterfly by Puccini)     

In Seville, this skank I drilled, say “Sit on it and rotate it.” Tried to skate it. It was fated. Set my GPS for hell. Yeah well. #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

*Cough, cough* Darts in the bodice? *wheeze* Fitted waistline? *rasp* Puffed sleeves? *gasp* I can do a lace yoke. *death rattle* #operaplot (La bohème by Puccini)     

Anna Bolena at the Met 2011

 

Anna anna bo banna, marries a fat man-a, Percy kisses her hand-a. Die, Anna! Jane jane bo bane, Anna’s death is your gain, Jane! #operaplot (Anna Bolena by Donizetti)     

A tisket, a tasket. A stout knight in a basket. They tossed him in the River Thames and foxed his fat white ascot. #operaplot (Falstaff by Verdi)     

Prison Break: A new Fox series! Starring Don Florestan as the Spaniard, Leonore disguised as a youth, & Gary Busey as old Rocco. #operaplot (Fidelio by Beethoven)     

And now. The end is near. Dear Fyodor I’ve lost my marbles. Your voice is really high. It’s like a girl’s. Go lift some barbells. #operaplot (Boris Godunov by Mussorgsky)

Countess Adèle. She’s real swell-ah. Break me off a piece of that Countess Adèle. I’ll even don a wimple for a piece of Adèle. #operaplot (Le Comte Ory by Rossini)     

      


 And of course, I’m having a blast reading everyone else’s plots. And that means I’ll be recognizing my favorites on this blog next week, once they are all categorized. So, whaddya think, cats and kittens? Do I have a chance to win with any of these plots?

3 Comments

Filed under 21st Century Opera, Contests, Opera and humor, Opera and social media

3 Responses to my 2011 #operaplot entries

  1. Krista

    Pagliacci and La Boheme are your best. I almost fell off my chair.

  2. Ha. That’s a great one, Lucy, reinforcing my point that brevity is the soul of wit. Did you enter that one officially?

  3. Lucy

    Mimi died. We all cried. (La Boheme)