my 2011 #operaplot entries

If you aren’t on Twitter, you might not be aware of a cultural tsunami building there (or should that be counter-cultural?), 140 characters at a time, called #Operaplot. The energy and excitement on Twitter are palpable.     

Every #operaplot entrant is accorded 25 tries to grab the judge’s attention with a winning summary of an opera’s plotline in a single Tweet. All entries must be in by midnight this Friday.     

This is my first year actually participating in the contest. I joined Twitter around the time of last year’s contest–too late to enter but not to late to enjoy all the entertaining entries.     

So, here’s all my entries thus far: (There’s 21 one of them below, which means *shudder* I only have FOUR ENTRIES LEFT!!)     

Who stabbed a horny guy with bad breath? Tos-caa! Who mourned her beau and leapt to her death? Tos-caa! #operaplot (Tosca by Puccini)     

You can tell by the way she looked at him they’d been to bed, but their fate was grim. Ah-ah-ee-dah. Buried alive! Buried alive! #operaplot (Aida by Verdi)     

Here’s a story of due donne. Boyfrenzi no trusta, not a lick. So, dey getta 2 mustaches. Duets great but silly plotta make asick. #operaplot (Cosi fan tutte by Mozart)     

I love to die at weddings. And I died after my wedding. I killed the groom. I left the room. I sang of gloom. I met my doom. #operaplot  (Lucia di Lammermoor by Donizetti)      

Isn’t it queer? Aren’t we a pair? You with a knife in your chest. Me with red hair. Send in the clown. Don’t bother. He’s here. #operaplot (Pagliacci by Leoncavallo)     

     

Master? Viper! Hush. Coward! Silence! Daddy? Fool. Monster! Revenge! My Lord? My angel. Beat me. Hisst. Ta-ta-ta-ta. Repent! No! #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

Don O walks with me. Don O talks with me. He tells me I am his own. We share no joy–the silly boy. To think! He’s fully grown! #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

A is 4 Aida and Amneris. I is 4 the temple Isis owns. D is 4 the dungeon for Radames. Locked in A, Aida’s arms, Morir, he moans. #operaplot (Aida by Verdi)     

Fair-haired mare ensnares a herr and his frère. Back in the lair. Stares. Glares. An affair? A temper flares. A rapier. Despair! #operaplot (Pelléas et Mélisande—Debussy)     

Oy vey, Moses! Seeink Yahweh in that schmattah? Take my sport coat—Brooks Brothers—but leave the Rolex. Brink me a tchatchke!  #operaplot (Moses und Aron by Schoenberg)     

Come here, Gilda. Can’t dig your new squeeze, daughter. I may be a hunchback, but I ain’t no drag. Papa’s got a burlap bag. #operaplot (Rigoletto by Verdi)     

Happy Easter. Bite me. #operaplot (Cavalleria rusticana by Mascagni)     

1 rake, 2 acts, 3 soprani, 4 ta’s, 5 padre mio’s, 6 nò’s, 7 classes of conjugal conquests, 8 roles, 9 vile’s, 10 heavenly appeals #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

Madame Butterfly

 

CC – gotta go. bt IL B bac W d roses, d warm n sunny Cson wen d red-breasted robins r bZ nesting, ASAP posbL, my lov – BF #operaplot (Madama Butterfly by Puccini)     

In Seville, this skank I drilled, say “Sit on it and rotate it.” Tried to skate it. It was fated. Set my GPS for hell. Yeah well. #operaplot (Don Giovanni by Mozart)     

*Cough, cough* Darts in the bodice? *wheeze* Fitted waistline? *rasp* Puffed sleeves? *gasp* I can do a lace yoke. *death rattle* #operaplot (La bohème by Puccini)     

Anna Bolena at the Met 2011

 

Anna anna bo banna, marries a fat man-a, Percy kisses her hand-a. Die, Anna! Jane jane bo bane, Anna’s death is your gain, Jane! #operaplot (Anna Bolena by Donizetti)     

A tisket, a tasket. A stout knight in a basket. They tossed him in the River Thames and foxed his fat white ascot. #operaplot (Falstaff by Verdi)     

Prison Break: A new Fox series! Starring Don Florestan as the Spaniard, Leonore disguised as a youth, & Gary Busey as old Rocco. #operaplot (Fidelio by Beethoven)     

And now. The end is near. Dear Fyodor I’ve lost my marbles. Your voice is really high. It’s like a girl’s. Go lift some barbells. #operaplot (Boris Godunov by Mussorgsky)

Countess Adèle. She’s real swell-ah. Break me off a piece of that Countess Adèle. I’ll even don a wimple for a piece of Adèle. #operaplot (Le Comte Ory by Rossini)     

      


 And of course, I’m having a blast reading everyone else’s plots. And that means I’ll be recognizing my favorites on this blog next week, once they are all categorized. So, whaddya think, cats and kittens? Do I have a chance to win with any of these plots?

3 Comments

Filed under 21st Century Opera, Contests, Opera and humor, Opera and social media

3 Responses to my 2011 #operaplot entries

  1. Krista

    Pagliacci and La Boheme are your best. I almost fell off my chair.

  2. Ha. That’s a great one, Lucy, reinforcing my point that brevity is the soul of wit. Did you enter that one officially?

  3. Lucy

    Mimi died. We all cried. (La Boheme)

Have something to say? This is your "operatoonity."